Conflicting Emotions
by liberian-girl
Summary: Harry's feelings for Cho have become even stronger. Here I explore them in the form of a monolgue. ANGST!!!
1. Chapter One

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story apart from Juliet Montague (even though her name is taken from Shakespeare, her character is quite different!) and Edward Brown. The plot of the story is my own but a majority of it has come from Harry Potter and the Chamber of secrets, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban and Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I have also used a poem by Catullus, a famous Classical poet, which too, is not my own. The poem found later in the story is my own, adapted from one called 'The Addiction'. I have also used a few lyrics from four songs. I'm not sure who two of them are by but I know 'I just can't stop loving you' and 'Todo mi amor eres tu' are both by Michael Jackson.  
  
Spoilers: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire  
  
  
  
  
  
Conflicting emotions  
  
'I hate and I love. Perhaps you ask why I do this. I don't know, but I feel it happening and I am tormented.' - Catullus  
  
Chapter One  
  
Cho Chang. The prettiest girl I've ever met. I need to tell her that all I can do is think about her but somehow, I just know I can't. It's not in me. Well, I must be brave if I've stood up to Lord Voldemort four times, but this is different.  
  
I first met her two years ago, in my third year. Wood told us that she had fully recovered from several injuries and had returned to the Ravenclaw team as Seeker, which he didn't seem too pleased about. I didn't really give her another thought. After all, she was just the opposition. Just like Cedric. What's funny is that I can even remember the name of her broomstick - the Comet Two Sixty - Wood told me that before I met her.  
  
The day I properly saw her for the first time, well, it was an indescribable feeling. I remember grinning a lot and me thinking to myself 'Stop it, she probably thinks you're a deformed Grindylow or something', but I couldn't help myself. She just smiled back which sent my emotions into overdrive, just as if to say 'hi' I guess. But her smile . oh it was amazing. It was like staring at the face of an angel or a divine Goddess. I will never forget that moment. During the Quidditch match after that brief interlude, while I looked for the Snitch, I was also watching her. Her skills were amazing. I remember Wood telling me 'Now's not the time to be a gentleman!' as she stopped in front of me, 'Knock her off her broom if you have to!' I didn't want to. I didn't want it to be my fault she was feeling pain, but then she deserved it for what she was about to put me through.  
  
Somehow, I just can't seem to talk to her, and I have a feeling she's pretty not much into me. After all, she's sixteen, I'm fifteen. Plus, she's still in mourning for Diggory. Cedric Diggory - the most handsome boy in Hogwarts, whom any girl would have said 'yes' to even if he asked her to go and give Snape a peck on the cheek just to get a date with him. But that won't happen ever again. Last year, Cedric died at the hands of Lord Voldemort. Echoes of 'kill the spare.' still haunt me when I think of him. And I can't help feeling that it's my fault that he's dead. I told him to touch the Tri-Wizard cup at the same time as me, declaring us both champions of the Tri-Wizard tournament, but we both didn't know that it would have such tragic consequences. I don't know why, but part of me is kind of glad that he's dead. I know that that is probably one of the most terrible things I've ever said, but he was my rival over Cho. The sight of them kissing outside the Great Hall after the Yule Ball still fills me with a sickening feeling of jealousy, but after all, she chose him, not me. I was stuck with Parvati Patil as my partner on that night. I even asked Cho to be my dancing partner, as the four champions had to do an opening dance. It took much determination, and I eventually caught up with her. The words couldn't come out properly, and she just tilted her head to one side as if to say 'What the hell are you on about?' Eventually I managed to get something understandable out to her, and she apologised and said she was going to the Ball with Cedric. I felt myself blushing furiously and getting very hot under the collar at the sound of those words. She looked down and went very red too - possibly at the thought of going to the Ball with Cedric.  
  
Still, I kind of got on with Cedric. He told me how to get into the Prefect's bathroom when we had to solve the riddle of the Golden Egg from the first task. I told him he deserved to win the Tri-Wizard tournament. But I didn't mean for him to die. It happened in a blinding green flash, as though someone had flicked a muggle light-switch and his life was gone. Never to return. Like my parents. 


	2. Chapter Two

I looked out of the curtains into Privet Drive. I was here. The worst place ever, and Dumbledore wouldn't even let me stay with the Weasleys for the first two weeks of the holidays. I longed to be back at Hogwarts with a pain in my stomach. The thoughts of the warm, cosy castle simply made my pangs worse. I wanted to see a friendly face. I wanted to see Ron and Hermione. Cho. I turned around and got back into bed. I wondered what Cho was doing. I hoped she was safe and happy. I got up again and went over to my desk, and searched for a piece of parchment - a mad thought came into my head. I could write to her and tell her how I felt. It would save any embarrassment of me telling her face to face. But then what if she wrote back saying;  
  
Dear Harry,  
  
I'm very sorry, but after the death of Cedric, I feel I couldn't love another. Plus, I think you look like the back end of the Knight Bus.  
  
Cho  
  
I'm not sure if these feelings are even love yet. It feels like a knot in my stomach that I just can't get rid of. I know I don't want to feel this way about her, especially after what happened to Cedric. I drew up my chair to the desk, sat down and put my head in my hands. I just wanted to be next to her, soothing her sadness over Cedric. During the final speech at the end of term, I felt moved by the sight of the tears streaming silently down her face. I just wanted to get up and kiss the tears away. I've never known what it feels like to mourn a death, even though death has played a very important part in my life for fifteen years. I don't even remember what really happened on the day my parents died, but I came close to hearing a lot about what happened in my third year. The Azkaban Dementors were asked to guard the school after my innocent godfather Sirius Black escaped from the prison in case he might come up to the school and murder any students. It was a well-known fact that he was after me. Which in truth, he wasn't. Anyway, the Dementors caused me to feel faint and dizzy, and all I could hear was 'Lily, get Harry and try to escape.' and 'Kill me, not Harry!' with a blinding green flash drowned out by my mother's screams and the high pitched laughter that could only belong to Voldemort.  
  
I tried to shake off that thought, and tried to concentrate on Cho. After all, I don't even remember my parents all that well. All I have left of them is those memories of their dying words, a photo album Hagrid gave to me, and their two best friends, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin.  
  
I got up again, now feeling completely and utterly restless. Thoughts and emotions were whirling round and round in my mind, with an urge to break free that the more they fought and struggled, the less likely there was a chance of them getting out. I glanced over at the countdown I made counting down the days I return to Hogwarts - twenty-four days to go. Twenty-four days left of feeling imprisoned and abandoned. I only had the letters from Ron and Hermione to keep me company, along with Hedwig. However, she was out delivering a letter to Neville, explaining what the Potions essay was as his fear of Snape had increased so much that he was unable to retain any information he told him. I lay back onto my bed again, and closed my eyes. I could see Cho grinning at me like the way she did when I first met her. Words encircled her, ones that I had never read before in such a way:  
  
This feeling - it's hard to describe. It's like an illness, yet it feels uplifting. I feel happy, yet I feel sad. I am unsure why this happened. It started as a feeling of happiness, then I grew so Addicted. This addiction you ask? Why, it's love.  
  
Maybe I'd just realised I really was in love with her. I had to tell her. Ron and Hermione don't know. I don't want them to. I know that Ron would just double up with laughter, but I don't know how Hermione would take it.  
  
I felt like killing myself. I felt like driving a knife through my arm until I drew blood and saw it oozing all over the floor. But I knew that that wouldn't solve anything. I just had to ride it out. I turned over, and saw visions of Cho crying over Cedric, the pair kissing outside the Great Hall. Then I saw her running up to me saying 'I love you, Harry. Cedric was just to make you jealous. You really are the one for me.' But I knew that that wasn't going to happen. My fantasies moved forward in time. I swooped around the Quidditch pitch, caught the Snitch and won the Quidditch World Cup. Cho was in the stands, eyes glistening with tears with a smile of love on her face, while everyone else cheered for me. I looked again at Cho, and she was gone. 


	3. Chapter Three

In the next few days, the Weasleys were finally granted permission for me to stay at 'The Burrow' for the remainder of the summer holidays, which the Dursleys were only too pleased about. At least it would take my mind away from things and stop me from becoming so infatuated with someone who was almost a stranger to me.  
  
Time passed quickly during my time at 'The Burrow', and even Hermione was allowed to come and stay too! She told us all about her holiday to Bulgaria to visit Viktor, one of the other champions from the Tri-Wizard tournament and also the Seeker for the national Bulgarian Quidditch team. He's one of the best Seekers I've ever seen in action - the way he performed the 'Wronskei Feint' was spectacular and I've been practising ways to do that in the Orchard at 'The Burrow'. I also feel that playing Quidditch also makes me feel happier and takes my mind off a lot of things. The adrenaline rush that you gain from flying at such a fast speed makes you feel like you don't exist, and that you are one with the broomstick, just flying, soaring into the sky, leaving all your troubles and cares behind.  
  
The day came when we had to go back to school. We arrived at Kings' Cross station feeling pretty glum, but also excited about the new term and challenges which would face us. As we loaded our trunks onto the train and went to a carriage door, I saw Cho and a few of her friends. She looked happy, but there was still a mark of sadness in her eyes. She didn't see me, and I just got onto the train with Ron and Hermione. I masked my need to be with Cho by having a great time on the train, and even managed to get rid of Draco Malfoy, who wanted to just double check that we were still enemies. I don't know why he bothers - he obviously still knows we are and I have absolutely no intention of being friends with him. He makes fun of Ron and his family, Hermione and her muggle heritage and me, because I have this ugly scar on my forehead. I bet he prides himself with the fact that his father was a Death-Eater, or probably still is. We still firmly believe that Lucious Malfoy was among those in the riot at the Quidditch World Cup Final.  
  
We arrived at school in the evening. The traditional feast and Sorting ceremony went ahead as it does every year. Cho was sitting with her back to me, mine to hers, as both of the tables had been put next to each other this year. Her presence just being behind me made me feel as though everything would be fine and that nothing could hurt me. She got so excited being with her friends again that she threw her arms up into the air to hug her friend whom had just arrived from the bathroom when she accidentally knocked me.  
  
'Oh, I'm sorry!' she said, flashing her pretty smile at me. My insides churned.  
  
'It's OK. Are you OK?' I said quickly, almost not wanting to.  
  
'Yeah, summer was pretty good. It could have been better, but in the circumstances.' she trailed off. She pushed a lock of her long dark hair behind her ear and looked at the ground.  
  
'Hey, don't worry. If you ever want to talk, I'll be here.' I said reassuringly, placing my hand on her shoulder to comfort her. She looked up and blinked away her tears.  
  
'Thanks, Harry. You're a good friend.' She said, and turned around back to her roast chicken.  
  
I felt myself going red and turned around slowly so that Ron and Hermione wouldn't notice.  
  
'What was that about Harry?' asked Ron, putting down his fork, looking a little concerned. After all, he had never seen me talking to Cho before.  
  
'Umm, she just said hi.' I said, and started to cut up my sausages. I was about to eat a piece when.  
  
'But why did you put your hand on her shoulder?' Ron asked innocently.  
  
'LOOK! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, OK? I CAN'T HANDLE IT ANYMORE!' I shouted. I got up and left the Great Hall, and went up to Gryffindor Tower.  
  
'Password?' asked the portrait of the Fat Lady guarding the entrance into the tower.  
  
'Just bloody brilliant. I don't even know the damn password.' I slumped back against the marble banister, drew my knees up to my chest and put my head in my hands. I can't believe that I had shouted at Ron. I know it's not the first time it's happened, but I guess it was boiling up to a point that I had to take it out on someone, and it just happened to be my best friend. I felt so guilty and sat there for at least an hour until Hermione came upstairs. She looked concerned. She sat down next to me. I let my legs out and looked at her, while she gazed out of the large window.  
  
'Ron's really upset, you know.' She said, still looking out of the window.  
  
'I didn't mean it.' She now faced me and looked into my eyes.  
  
'Well, what's wrong? You were fine one minute, and the next, you just explode when Ron asked you a simple question. Tell me, I promise I won't tell. Is it to do with Cho? Cedric?' I turned my head slowly to look out of the window and took a deep breath, and said nothing.  
  
'It is, isn't it? Look, I guess it wasn't easy to see Cedric just be killed like that. I just don't know what to say.' I turned to look at her again.  
  
'You don't have to say anything. Don't worry.' I looked down at the floor now, mirroring Cho's actions. Hermione put her hand on the back of my neck and began to stroke it gently. I put my arm around her and for the first time, I began to cry softly in front of one of my friends.  
  
'Harry, Harry! Ssh, ssh. Don't cry about it. I'm sure Cedric wouldn't want you to be upset over him. I bet he's looking down on you now, wanting you to be happy and glad that you survived against Voldemort on that night. Please, I want you to be happy.' She said gently. I looked up at her face. She too had tears streaming down her cheeks. I guess she hated to see me upset too.  
  
'Now, do you want to go and make it up with Ron? I don't want a repeat of last year!' she joked. I smiled weakly and nodded, wiping my eyes on my black robes. I hugged Hermione again, and we both went down the stairs, retracing our steps into the Great Hall. Ron was sitting at the Gryffindor table, absent-mindedly toying with his mashed potato and gravy until it had become a brown slop.  
  
'Ron, I'm really, really sorry about what I said. It's just the whole Cedric thing really took it's toll on me and it's been building up for a long time. I'm just so sorry that it was you I took it out on, and.' Ron held up his hand as if to silence me, and said,  
  
'Look, it's OK. I'd probably feel the same if I were in your position. Next time, make sure it's Malfoy you take it out on as he really deserves a kick in the.' he said something that made Hermione gasp 'Ron!', but then we all laughed about it. I was glad that everything was OK again, but I knew it wasn't. My feelings for Cho were still there, despite how much I wanted them to go away. 


	4. Chapter Four

Several months passed and it was soon Christmas, and it was the last weekend of the holidays, meaning that students in the third year and above were allowed to visit the village of Hogsmeade to buy last minute Christmas presents for their friends and family. Ron, Hermione and I went into The Three Broomsticks to have a Butterbeer each. We appreciated the warmth of the fluid owing to the fact that it was absolutely freezing outside. Cho entered, alone. I began to feel concerned for her as she was normally surrounded by about six other girls, all giggling and chatting. She looked at me and smiled, and went to sit down by the bar. I got up and went to sit next to her, telling Ron and Hermione that I just wanted to see if she was OK.  
  
'Hi, Harry.' Cho said in a small voice.  
  
'Hi, can I help?' asked the cheery bar-maid Madam Rosmerta.  
  
'Umm, can I have a glass of Gillywater please?' asked Cho.  
  
'Sure, coming right up my love.' Madam Rosmerta bustled off and began preparing Cho's drink.  
  
'So, how come you're down here on your own?' I asked her.  
  
'I wanted to be on my own. Plus my friends said they'd rather stay inside in the warm than come down here. I think they've had enough of Mezzo's clothes store for a while!' she said, with a small laugh.  
  
'Here's your drink. That'll be one Galleon and two Sickles.thank you dear.' She walked off to serve another customer after putting Cho's money into the till.  
  
'S'quiet, isn't it?' said Cho, taking a sip of her drink.  
  
'Yeah. How've you been?'  
  
'OK. Professor Vector has spoken to me, as well as a few other teachers, you know, about Cedric and how I've been coping. It's been a tough ride, but I reckon I'm getting there. You know, I can still see his face every time I close my eyes' (the feeling of jealousy came back to me) 'and, did you know that the last thing he said to me was 'I love you, Cho. I don't ever want to let you go.'' I stared at the wood-grain on the bar.  
  
'Harry! Want to go to Honeydukes?' called Ron.  
  
'I've got to go. I'll see you around.' I got off the stool slowly and made to re-join Ron and Hermione. I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around. Cho was smiling at me sadly, her eyes shone with tears.  
  
'I'm sorry.' She said. I didn't reply, but just smiled and sighed at the same time, and left with Ron and Hermione. They didn't ask what had happened - I thought they probably didn't want to know as it wasn't really their business, but I do know that they care, and I'm more than grateful for that.  
  
That night, I thought about my conversation with Cho. What did she mean by 'I'm sorry?' and why did she have to tell me the last thing that Cedric told her before he died? She has no idea how I feel, and was just talking friend to friend, but it obviously meant something by her apologising. I really want her to know how I feel, but how would she take it in the circumstances? I'm actually starting to feel that I hate her for what she said to me earlier. I hate her so much. And yet, I love her so much. I don't think I've ever loved anyone in this way. I want to get past all of this and get over her, and yet, I know that I can't see myself without her anymore and to not love her sounds impossible. She is my essence, the one that keeps me going. She gives me strength. And I certainly didn't want to hear Cedric's last words to Cho again. Why did she tell me? I desperately wanted to see her again. Now. 


	5. Chapter Five

'In tomorrow's lesson, some Sixth year students will be joining us to tell you about taking Transfiguration at N.E.W.T level. I certainly hope that a large proportion of you will consider this subject as it is highly regarded at the Ministry if you wish to persue a career in this field.' Said Professor McGonagall at the end of Transfiguration one Tuesday afternoon. Sixth year students . Would that mean Cho would come into the lesson? I certainly hoped so. Hermione, Ron and I talked about what subjects we wanted to carry on with. Ron and I still don't know, but Hermione had already made up her mind. She would be doing Ancient Runes, Arithmancy, Transfiguration and Defence against the dark arts. Ron and I agreed that we will not be doing Potions - the moment we can get out of those dark, dingy dungeons with that bastard of a teacher, we will be. It's not really the subject or the dungeons, but I, or we, cannot stand Snape. He's born a grudge against me ever since I started Hogwarts, but I know why he does now. It was back in the times when my parents came to Hogwarts, and my godfather Sirius thought it would be quite funny to take Snape down into the Shrieking Shack when their best friend Remus Lupin had changed into a werewolf, but luckily my father rescued him just before Snape went into the Shack and risked his life.  
  
* * *  
  
Next day, Ron, Hermione and I went wearily down to Transfiguration. Ron kept on coming up with excuses to not be in the lesson, like something had just suddenly jumped out on him and given him concussion, but then anything could happen in Hogwarts and it was usually quite likely that something like that could happen. As we entered the classroom, the Sixth year students were already sitting at the front with McGonagall. The rest of the class was already there.  
  
'Now that you're all here, some Sixth year students are here to answer any questions about Transfiguration at N.E.W.T level. Here we have Cho Chang,' (my heart leaped and I glanced over to her. Her hair was in two neat plaits today.) 'Edward Brown and Juliet Montague.' Some of the girls sniggered at Juliet's name. McGonagall glared at them over the top of her glasses with her sharp, hawk-like eyes with pursed lips. Juliet just shrugged and smiled to herself. I glanced at Ron and he had his hand on his chin with his elbow on the table, and was gazing dreamily at her. I guess Juliet did have an air of beauty about her. She had just past shoulder-length blonde hair that glistened in the autumn sun shining through the windows and clear, sky-blue eyes. Hermione scowled at Juliet with utmost rage. It had become quite apparent to me since our fourth year that Hermione had been paying a little more attention to Ron, especially since the Yule Ball. I turned back to the front of the class and McGonagall had started talking about the N.E.W.T syllabus and was handing out sheets with information on. I kept catching myself looking at Cho and every time I did look at her, she smiled back. What the hell is up with her? First I get the impression that she's not over Cedric, but then she's trying to flirt with me!  
  
At the end of the lesson, Cho caught up with me as I was leaving the classroom.  
  
'Harry! Can I just talk to you?' She called. I stopped and let her catch up with me. She grinned and looked at the floor, tucking a lock of her black hair behind her right ear.  
  
'What is it Cho?' I asked her.  
  
'I found out that this weekend is a Hogsmeade weekend. Do you want to go with me?' I looked at Ron and Hermione. I couldn't not go with them, as Hogsmeade was like our thing that we did together and it's never really been any different. But I wanted to go with Cho. After all, it was only the one time that I'd do it. Where's the harm in that?  
  
'Look, just go with Cho. We honestly don't mind. I was thinking of going with Eloise myself .' said Hermione.  
  
'HEY! I wanted to go and sort out, um, Harry's Christmas present!' exclaimed Ron. I thought it was quite obvious that he wanted some 'alone' time together with Hermione, but kept that to myself. 'Fine, I'll go with Seamus and Dean. See what I care.' Ron finished, and stormed off back to Gryffindor Tower.  
  
'Never mind him. I wanted to have a bit of 'girl' time as I'm always with you two. I didn't mean any offence or anything .' Hermione added quickly.  
  
'Don't worry.' I said. Hermione smiled weakly, said goodbye to Cho and followed Ron's steps back to Gryffindor Tower.  
  
'See the things I have to put up with? It's not easy looking after two love-lorn teenagers you know!' I joked to Cho. Cho giggled and went red.  
  
'Are you serious? Ron and Hermione?' Cho asked.  
  
'You should have seen them in the weeks leading up to the Yule Ball. They constantly had arguments over who they'd take. Ron was set on taking the prettiest girl in school, and Hermione would protest against this. Eventually she got herself a partner, Viktor, and Ron was jealous of this, which was obvious as well.'  
  
'Wow. I hadn't really thought that Ron was so jealous of that. But I did think that he and Padma didn't really hit it off all that well.' Said Cho.  
  
'No. He wanted Hermione. You could tell.'  
  
'So, this Hogsmeade weekend . want to meet up in the Entrance Hall at one o'clock?' Cho asked.  
  
'Consider it done.' I nodded, and we broke apart, going our separate ways to our Houses, me to Gryffindor, her to Ravenclaw. I felt like jumping off the marble staircase and shouting 'I'M GOING TO HOGSMEADE WITH THE WOMAN I LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!' but I decided to refrain from that idea. I entered the Gryffindor Common Room to see Ron and Hermione at separate ends of the room. Again. This was becoming quite a regular event these days. Ginny Weasley was sitting by the fire alone, writing in a purple notebook. Thankfully she bought this new one from a trustworthy shop and it didn't try to bewitch her mind. I went to sit down opposite her. She looked up, her eyes swollen from crying.  
  
'Please don't say you are crying because of Ron and Hermione! It's not that bad!' I said in my attempt to cheer her up. She started crying again. 'Ginny, what's up?' I said, and went to sit next to her, putting an arm around her for comfort. She pushed me away and went to sit on my squashy armchair opposite hers.  
  
'Ginny? Are you going to tell me?' I asked her sternly.  
  
'You're going to Hogsmeade with her aren't you?' she sobbed.  
  
'Who, Cho? Yes, I am. And er, what's wrong with that?' I asked curiously.  
  
'Nothing.' And she ran off back to her dormitory.  
  
'What?' I asked Ron, who had watched the whole thing. He sat there laughing.  
  
'I shouldn't laugh really. After all, it's not that funny.' He said in between fits of laughter.  
  
'WHAT?' I said again, perhaps more forcefully than I should have done.  
  
'Ron, she can't help it!' Hermione said, coming over to Ron and I.  
  
'Can you just tell me please? I don't want you two all secretive on me! I'm supposed to be your friend!'  
  
'Isn't it obvious?' Ron asked in a mocking sort of tone. 'Ginny fancies you. Blimy, I'd've thought you'd have got the message by now!'  
  
'Oh. I don't know what to say.'  
  
'Well I think it's hilarious!' said Ron, and was doubled up with laughter again.  
  
'RON! I don't think it's that funny to be in love with someone!' Hermione cried.  
  
'It's not unusual to find love with anyone! I love you baby and when the feeling's right I love you baby! I just can't stop loving you! Todo mi amor eres tu!' Ron started singing one-liners from classic love songs. It reminded me strongly of what Sirius might have done to my parents. It seemed very much like him to do that. Hermione went up to her dormitory, in a bad mood again.  
  
'Well done. Now look what you've done,' I said.  
  
~*~  
  
So everyone? What do you think? I'm really enjoying writing this, please respond and give me ideas. Plus, I'm really interested in Juliet Montague (She's really cool! Even though her part is really tiny!) has anyone got any ideas as to what I could write about her?  
  
Juliet Montague factfile:  
  
Name: Juliet Montague  
  
D.O.B: 21/6/85  
  
House: Ravenclaw  
  
N.E.W.T subjects: Ancient Runes, Transfiguration, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Charms and Care of Magical Creatures  
  
Distinguishing features: shoulder length gold blonde hair and blue eyes  
  
Year: Sixth  
  
Ambitions: To be on the Ravenclaw Quidditch team, to teach Charms/Care of Magical Creatures teacher, to be an Auror or work in the Ministry  
  
Crushes: Oliver Wood (even though he's left), used to be Cedric Diggory  
  
Fave food: Pizza and chips  
  
Best friend: Was Penelope Clearwater but she has now left school to be with Percy Weasley. They are still in touch but not as close as they were.  
  
Favourite subject: Charms  
  
I hope that's helped anyone out! As I said, she's very cool and if anyone wants a fic about her and is willing to put up some ideas for one I'll be more than grateful!  
  
Bag 


	6. Chapter Six

Chapter Six  
  
Cho met me in the Entrance Hall as we had arranged before. Her hair hung loosely today, and she smiled as I approached her. My insides melted. She bade farewell to Juliet who was waiting for Edward. Cho told me that they were going out with each other. Was this foreboding something to me? Why would she tell me this now, especially as we were going to Hogsmeade together? I spotted Hermione laughing with Eloise and Ron glowering at her as he stood with his arms folded with Dean, Seamus and Neville.  
  
"How are you?" Cho finally asked.  
  
"I'm . um . OK . yeah, great!" I managed to say. This was so very weird. I'm used to going to Hogsmeade with Ron and Hermione, and I felt perhaps quite uncomfortable with Cho. I know she's also a good friend, but nothing beats Ron and Hermione.  
  
As we walked down to Hogsmeade, Cho spoke to me about how she felt after Cedric's death. To be honest, I don't think I've ever been more bored in my life. It made Professor Binns' descriptions of the Goblin Rebellions sound interesting. I mean, I do pity her and I know it was a major shock, but it got a bit tedious hearing:  
  
"He was my only love, now he's been taken away from me. I nearly committed suicide so I could be with him. He's like an angel sent from Heaven, so at least he's back with them now. I know he's watching over me and every night I can feel him at my side. I turn over and see his sleeping body and just kiss his forehead, but then remember it's just my mind playing tricks on me .'  
  
When we reached 'The Three Broomsticks', Cho stopped and said  
  
"I really admire you, Harry. The way you've coped through everything, like Malfoy making fun of you and that your parents ." She broke off.  
  
"It's OK. But, thanks." I gave her a small smile and walked in, and she followed.  
  
* * *  
  
"It's cold, isn't it?" shivered Cho as we walked back up to the castle. I took off my cloak and wrapped it around her shoulders. I looked up at the sky. There were so many stars. It looked amazing. If I could just have one wish, I know what it would be. I remember over-hearing what my aunt had told Dudley when we were younger,  
  
"If you wish upon the first star you see, you know it'll come true. Always remember that, Dudley." That's always stayed in the back of my mind ever since. I turned my head to look at Cho and the stars were reflected in her eyes as she looked straight ahead. Our pace slowed down a fraction as we started to walk up the hill leading up to the school, and I felt an arm around my waist. I turned my head again to look at Cho and she rested her head on my shoulder and looked into my eyes.  
  
"You have really pretty eyes," she said. I grinned at her and she grinned back. The smile lasted on my face until we reached the top of the hill. Normally I'd be absolutely exhausted by the time I'd got up there my heart would be pounding in my ears and breathing would be very painful, but today it just seemed as though I had glided up the hill with ease.  
  
When we reached the Entrance Hall, we broke apart.  
  
"Well, I guess this is it." Cho said sadly. "It's been a good day. Bye." As she turned around, I grabbed her shoulder and kissed her. I didn't know what had come over me. I pulled out quickly after a few seconds.  
  
"I'm sorry. Um, bye." I turned bright red and started to make for Gryffindor Tower. It was Cho's turn to grab my shoulder this time.  
  
"Don't worry." She said, and threw her arms around my neck and kissed me. "Sleep tight." She whispered, and ran off in the direction of Ravenclaw Tower. I stood in the Entrance Hall, completely flabbergasted. Cho Chang had kissed me. Cho Chang. It was wrong, but so very right at the same time, and the conflicting emotions spun around my head until it had gone completely numb. I barely noticed the walk up to Gryffindor Tower. Was this the beginning of something? I'd never had a girlfriend before, and Cho was the first girl I had ever fallen in unrequited love with. Why would she just kiss me after I had just pulled out and apologised? I decided to sleep on it and see how I would feel in the morning.  
  
A/N: Don't get your hopes up! Anyway, please R&R and tell me what you think. Even if you think it's absolute CRAP please tell me. But I'm sure you won't. There I go being modest again! :*) I'm not a modest person. But I hope you do like what you've read so far! 


	7. Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven  
  
I still felt numb. I still had very strong feelings for Cho, yet I want her to just leave me alone after all the talk about Cedric's death yesterday and she just told me she admired me. I nearly told her about my feelings for her. I went down to the Great Hall with Ron and Hermione for breakfast. I saw Cho at the Ravenclaw table, and she turned her head as I walked in. She didn't smile at me or make any form of greeting at me at all. She just simply turned back to her friends and carried on laughing and joking with them. That wasn't right. You don't just kiss somebody and then just give them the brush off when they walk into the room. I remembered that after the Yule Ball that Cho leapt up and hugged Cedric as he entered the room. So how come she didn't do it to me? I must have dreamt the whole thing. I must have. As I was spooning porridge into my bowl gloomily, Cho brushed past me as she left the Hall. "Sorry, I didn't see you there." She said, and went very red and hastily made her way out. I got up and went after her. "Why did you just ignore me? You don't just kiss someone the night before and ignore them the next day!" I demanded. "The kiss? There was no . Oh, no ." she trailed off. "That's right. Explain. We've got ten minutes, because in ten minutes I've got Charms." I said forcefully. Cho started to look embarrassed and upset. She remained silent and tears began to stream down her cheeks. "Oh Harry, I'm so sorry. I think I had one too many Butterbeers and must have thought you were Cedric. After all, your hair looked like his." She said quietly. "There's hardly any alcohol content in them! Look Cho, let me tell you something. I have, or have had, very strong feelings for you in the past couple of years. For you to just use the excuse 'I had one too many Butterbeers' isn't good enough for me." There. I'd done it. She knew. How dare she think that I was Cedric? I had more brains than him, as I'm sure he had less brains to fill an egg cup. She only liked him because he was popular and handsome. He probably only liked her because she was pretty and popular. It seemed as though they were well suited for each other, in my opinion. "I don't know what to say." She said slowly. "How about, 'I'm sorry'? But then, you are such a stuck-up cow who seems to think that people with dark hair are that git Cedric Diggory after she's had a bit to drink, and break their hearts. I didn't think that Ravenclaws would do that." I said to her, and strolled briskly back up to Gryffindor Tower, ignoring my porridge. I sat down on my bed and wiped away the tears in my eyes. I wanted to smash something in two, do something to hurt Cho in revenge. I hated her, so much it wasn't true. I remember hearing from someone that love always turns into hate, and I could never believe that that could happen. Well it had. And it did.  
  
* * *  
  
A few weeks passed, and I had never felt so good. I told Ron and Hermione what had happened, and they could not have been more supportive. What I had learnt from this whole experience is that despite what you may feel towards people, your friends are always much more important, as they are there when things go wrong, and will stick with you through thick and thin, no matter what. I'm not even friends with Cho anymore, and I have no regrets. I'm sure there'll be someone else out there who won't break my heart like Cho had done.  
  
The end.  
  
A/N: so, you like? I've certainly enjoyed writing it - I think it's my best I've done so far. Well, it has Cho and Juliet in it *sniggles* Don't mock me, I like those characters :P and one of them isn't even mine, sadly. I wish I had invented Cho, but then after writing this I think she's a complete BITCH (pardon my French) but I have to admit, I did cry when Cedric died and I felt so sorry for her. If anyone has any ideas for what I could do next please tell me! Anyone? Ok, I'll step down and sit quietly in the corner with a dunce hat on. 


End file.
